Do you not want me either? I whispered.
What in the world? Where did that come from? The words shocked me as they some how escaped my rather passionate "Christian-rationale". It was one of those moments of unedited prayers. Raw...Real...Revealing.
Cognitively, I knew God wasn't rejecting me, but emotionally, it was as if I dropped my baseball bat to the ground, shoulders drooping, hearing the umpire yell, "Strike three...you're out."
I had neither the strength or passion to even try to stop the words from slipping past my lips into the open air.
Again...UNEDITED PRAYERS.
It was too late; my secret fears surfaced, no longer able to hide. Over the next couple of hours God revealed hidden areas of my personal disappointment and pain. He exposed the truth, liberating me from age old lies that had been written on my heart.
I love when God extracts faulty thinking and frees me with the truth.
So allow me to let you in on a little secret...this prayer wasn't prayed 10 years ago or even 10 months ago...actually it happend less than 10 days ago. I share the timeline with you, to remind you we all have areas of weakness. We all want desperately to feel loved and accepted. And we all have moments of doubt and frailty, where the devil tries to get the upper hand. But THANKS BE TO GOD we aren't left to muddle through it with our own devices of help or healing. God is faithful and is nearer than the breath we just breathed.
I'm not sure what you're facing today, but I do know God is big enough to handle it. You can come to Him with full assurance of His love, mercy, and devotion. DON'T worry about editing your prayers...coming to Him raw is His specialty...He prefers it. (Matt 6:7-8, "And when you pray, do not keep on babbling like pagans, for they think they will be heard because of their many words. Do not be like them, for your Father knows what you need before you ask him."NIV--Nothing Fancy Required Here)
Keep it simple...Keep it real. Scripture says to, "Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you." (1 Peter 5:7 NIV)
My prayer for you is taken from Ephesians 1:18-19, "I pray also that the eyes of your heart may be enlightened in order that you may know the hope to which he has called you, the riches of his glorious inheritance in the saints, and his incomparably great power for us who believe..."NIV
May you experience God's warm embrace and receive the strength that you so desperately need.
Prayer: Father, take our broken pieces and restore our hope. Free us from fear. Empower us by Your Spirit and truth. Grant us hope. Heal every area of our life. And help us to draw near to You. Work miracles on our behalf. In Jesus name we pray, amen.
Just this morning I was saying, "Get thee behind me, Satan!" on the way to work because he was telling me to doubt. I read that even Mother Teresa struggled with this. Thanks for the words of encouragement. God is love!
ReplyDeletePatD
Love you Pat and You are amazing! So glad to call you friend. Wish you could have come to the conference...I missed seeing you. Thanks for always sending such encouraging words to me. :)
ReplyDeleteAmden came home from the hospital. The jaundice is better and he is eating better. Thank you for your continued prayers and sweet comments on arise 2 write. They mean so very much to my entire family.
ReplyDeleteBlessings,
andrea
Amen, he can/will fix our broken pieces. Have you read the Shack? I have, and just heard a lecture from a guy who said the shack is a metaphor for the broken/painful places in our lives. And God meets us in those places. Powerful.
ReplyDeleteOh yeah, just finished your book this morning. Very good! I plan to do a review for my blog in the next couple of weeks. wb
ReplyDeleteAmen, yes our God is big enough to handle our concerns. Thank you for sharing this potent post. Blessings.
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